Sam @CUSP Conference 2015

Friday, November 7, 2008

Sam and the City: A Sidebar

I just want to make a brief point...

Yesterday I was watching Oprah and Will Smith was on there and he was talking about Obama being elected president and how much it meant to him and he related it to his relationship with his wife Jada. He talked about how the shape of our lives or how humanity has changed now that we have our first black president elect. And, he was saying how important it is for everything in his life to have purpose and how beyond the fact that he and Jada love each other, the two of them together and their marriage is one of purpose. He was talking to Oprah about how he doesn't want to waste anyone's time and he doesn't want anyone wasting his.

I was really moved by what he said and I am in total agreement. This kind of goes along with my previous Sam and the City from a couple of days ago when I was talking about all the things people sacrifice just to be with someone even if it isn't the right someone. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME! I thought about one of the most beautiful and intelligent people I know who is dating someone who is...Frankly, a bum. I thought about the time when I felt so bad about myself that I wasted my time dating someone who didn't have a job and who constantly asked me for money and I would give it to him. WHAT A WASTE OF TIME! (By the way, thank you Marcus B. for your comment about how men also can date women who hurt them or who aren't necessarily good for them. I appreciate you sharing that with me and you are so right and I think that men shouldn't waste their time either). I believe that everybody, or most people, deserve to be happy and regardless of your gender you should allow yourself the opportunity to be just that. Sometimes you might have to wait for that relationship with purpose. But, it's better than wasting time in a relationship that doesn't have one.

I really felt where Will Smith was coming from and it really touched me because I've seen so many people sacrifice so much for dead-end relationships. Today, a girl shared with me that she has been really stressed out about her relationship with her boyfriend. Now, she has the dream of leaving her current job and starting her own business. But, she hasn't had the energy to devote to this dream because she has been so consumed with her relationship. And, don't get me wrong, relationships aren't perfect and they come with stress at times. I know this. But, when you are sacrificing your dreams for it, can it be one with purpose? Shouldn't it be a relationship that is nurturing and gives you the support to chase your dreams rather than put them aside or forget about them?

Cheers to the people (men and women) who want to do better and feel the change in the air and want to do something about it!

xoxo

Sam

5 comments:

Marcus B. said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Marcus B. said...

Me and my father just had a conversation about this a few weeks ago. I was watching the news one day and they said Detroit was number 3 for the most single people, and Alanta was number 1! When I hear a beautiful woman (such as yourself) say they can't find a man, I have to wonder what is wrong with you? The debate me and my father had was, Why is it so many of you? My argument was education. I run in to more educated women then I do men and I feel like that's what you all are looking for. He disagreed,(he live in Georgia) he said he know some beautiful educated women that have settled for bums... Killed my whole theory pretty much! So you tell me what the problem is? Maybe it's intimidation! It could be the way you frown your face when a guy makes eye contact with you at the bar... I'm just saying I have seen it happen. When i'm out with my homie, females see him and automatically assume he is a thug! Ok maybe he is a little thug, but the point i'm trying to make is when we first started hanging out I learn so much from him about relationships I felt like I didn't know anything. He has been single for about 4 or 5 years now (by choice). And it seem like soon as women get to know him, they trying to lock him up! His ex was really on her game, so if they not above that he not interested. He don't have any children, he got a good job and he is one of the most unselfish individuals I have ever met. But just because he look like a "thug" or "doe boy" women be so quick to write him off. You on there other hand don't need to look, he will find you.

Anonymous said...

I total agree Sam it is such a waste of time to be in a dead end relationship with someone who either doesn't want you or doesn't value you. I have been there done that more times than I care to remember and what I believe my problem was, was that I didn't realize my own worth. One I begin loving me and realizing my value it was then that I knew there are things that I will not stand for and that includes being mistreated.

Rita Dixon

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