Sam @CUSP Conference 2015

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Sam and the City: Can Men and Women Be Just Friends?

Can women and men just be friends?...

I used to think that it was possible for men and women to just be platonic and friendly. But, I am slowly but surely changing my mind and starting to believe that this is an impossible feat.

I am starting to think that eventually one or both parties catches feelings and somebody is going to end up hurt. For instance, I have or had a guy friend who I recently have decided I can not be friends with.

We met at work and we started hanging out. He was a cool guy and fun to be around for a while. He was always nice and generous. I would soon learn that there were intentions behind his kindness and our priorities were in two different places. He was being nice because at the end of the day he thought he was getting some and that was just something that was and will never happen.

Don't get me wrong, he is a nice guy. But, he is just not the guy for me. I don't think you can really help who you are attracted to and I am not attracted to him in that way.

He was cool in the beginning and very gentleman like. However, after a while he got too comfortable with me and that all hit the fan. Every time I was around him he would be all over me. One time he was a little too aggressive and it was kind of scary. He apologized but that was my first clue that we probably couldn't be friends. I tried to salvage some sort of relationship with him as a friend. But, the few times I hung out with him it was a disaster. If there were other guys around he turned into someone that scared me. One time we went to a bar and there were a couple of guys around and he said they were giving him vibes that made him feel like he had to leave before anything jumped off. I don't think anyone else got those vibes and that was scary to me because that's how people get hurt for no reason or for silly reasons. I apologized to him because I felt bad that he was uncomfortable. And, the last time I saw him he was all over me and I decided it was time to leave.

It got to the point in our relationship where "no" was not an answer for him and he couldn't accept it. He didn't understand that I just wanted to be friends. The platonic friend I hoped for was a figment of my imagination and for him it was just a door to what he hoped would become something more. So, we're not friends anymore. It's sad. But, that's the way it has to be.

Maybe, guys and gals can be just friends.

Perhaps, it all depends on the guy and gal in the situation. But, so far so bad for me.

Oh, well. I tried.




M.B.EZ said...

It will never work.... Your too attractive.

Anonymous said...

I think that guys and gals can definetly be friends. In fact my husband and I were friends years before we became involved. He was there as my friend and I often cried on his shoulder when I was in those bad relationships. My husband and I laugh about it all now. I tell him why didn't you tell me one day we would be married. I wouldn't have messed with those losers and had the heart aches as a result. My husband does however admit that he liked me and that he was attracted to me, something I didn't know but he never crossed the line when we were friends. Also, my best friends name is Derek Humphries. He and I have never been attracted to each other like that and we have been friends for 20 years. He is now married and me and his wife Tracie get along just fine. I think she was a little hesitant at first, she may have thought that there had been something between the two of us but not! Now we talk more than me and him talk. Definetly guys and gals can be friends and I think that guy friends often make for better friends. There not high maitenance, if you no what I mean. I'm glad Derek married someone that I like and get along with.

Anonymous said...

yes keep Sam and the City!!! ok the topic... yes they can! growing up i was one of the guys often. a lot of times if the guy REALLY likes u, he will keep it in so not to lose u as a friend.... i know from experience