Sam @CUSP Conference 2015

Friday, March 27, 2009

Sam and the City: It Aint Rocket Science

You asked for it, so I am going to keep it. Sam and the City is here stay. So, I wanted to share with you conversation I was having with one of my friends on our way to a Pistons game yesterday.

We were talking about how complicated people make relationships and how simple they are. It's not rocket science. It's like this, YOU EITHER WANT SOMEONE OR YOU DON'T, and if you don't then don't waste their time or yours. I believe when you really know who you are and what you want, you really can tell in about 90 days whether someone is worth investing time and energy into. It's kind of like starting a new job. After the 90 day assessment the employer doesn't say, "You're kind of okay, so I think we'll let you stick around for a while." And, its not like you say, "Well, the job sucks, it's not what I am looking for, but I will keep it anyway." No, you keep it moving. Or, if it works out for the both of you, you keep working at it and working at it. Now, I am not saying after 90 days run to the chapel. I believe in long courtships because it takes a long time to really get to know the depths of someone. For example, with friends, it takes years to build trust and know the inner workings of someone. Long time.

I really don't know... to tell you the truth. I just don't think dating should be that complicated. I wish I could write more. But, I don't think I have the energy. The only thing I know is that it aint rocket science and when the right one comes along, you'll know it. I guess, I will know it too and you know what, he will know that I am the right one. No questions. No fear. No hesitation.

In the meantime, tell me your thoughts.

P.s. I am going to read Steve Harvey's new book and comment about it on Sam and the City really soon. And, btw, Steve Harvey was on Oprah today and he was saying that a man can't be who you want him to be, if he isn't who he wants to be or where he wants to be, amen! Ladies, remember that (and gents too)! I am definitely going to read that book!

xoxo

Sam

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

it ain't rocket science but it is very hard to find commitment these dayd

Anonymous said...

it is a science. 2 ppl can love and want each other and still not work. i think my relationship is better now that i am smarter/wiser.

i think the problem nowadays is ppl dont wanna sit still, and be with one person. they love u, but they wanna be cool, or have low self esteem and cant be faithful.

i dont know what kind of science it is, but its definitly work! lol!


~teg~

Anonymous said...

It amazes me how men think and show us certain signs and we ignore the signs or make excuses for their behavior.

Sam, I was just reading Act Like A Lady Think Like A Man on my flight back from the ATL yesterday...from what I've read so far if a man isn't happy with 3 things in his life then he can't make you happy since he isn't happy with himself and standards he feels has to be accomplished for him to be complete basically. I won't mention the 3 things becuz you're going to read the book.

When we finish reading the book we must discuss it!! Let me know when you're done.

And it definitely is a science to it!

Meda

Anonymous said...

I don't think its rocket science at all. I think that women once we figure out who we are and we come into the knowledge that we are valuable and are willing to accept nothing less is when everything begins to come together. As women we spend so much time in good for nothing relationships, why? Because, often times we do not know who we are. I believe that once you know that then you accept nothing less then what you deserve and its makes it easier to lose the dead weight. But do to our own insecurities we hang on to garbage thinking that it is going to get better. Hindsight is 20/20 ladies and looking back at my bad relationships. I allowed myself to be mistreated by my exes. I believe it was Maya Angelou who said "Once I show you who I am, belive me! Believe it ladies don't think that we can change these men. Only God can change them and if he is the one for you then God will and you do not have to be with him in order for God to do it.

We have the power and we give it up so easily because we don't realize it. That thing between your legs is the bearer of all creation what could be more powerful than that, nothing! Men and often very powerful Men have lost everything chasing the cat. Believe me ladies we can get more so much more by keeping our legs close then we could ever get by opening especially to someone undeserving.

Another quote I have always liked, "When a Man wants to leave there isn't anything that can make him stay and When a Man wants to stay there isn't anyting that can make him leave.

Rita

Anonymous said...

The problem w/ that analogy is that people do say, "My job sucks," but don't make any moves to change.

There is comfort in complacency and pain in change. (How's that for a pithy statement!) That goes for relationships and pretty much everything else...

-KJH

Teo said...

I haven't read the book Meda was talkin about but I did hear about it on Oprah. Before this book even came out I knew that I could never add to someones happiness if those 3 things were not right in my life.

I believe you can deeply want someone and know that they are everthing you could ever hope for and still not pursue due to knowing that until things are right with yourself it could never work out
Teo

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