Sam @CUSP Conference 2015

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Sam and the City: Agendas and Airheads

I haven't wrote a Sam and the City post in a while because I have primarily been focusing on writing about chasing my dream. I want to really focus my blog, but the time has come...

A bit from my comedy act talks about the kind of dudes that like me, I joke that guys with no teeth and guys without a job or their own place like me. And, that is really funny, but kind of true. But, what is entirely true, at least up until this point in my dating life, is that guys with good intentions and guys with a sense of humor, culture and open mindedness don't like me. Find a guy with his own agenda (but no dating skills) and an airhead and he is guaranteed to like him some Sam! Examples you ask?...Here they are:

So, I had been friends with this one particular person for over five years. He is about 30 years older me. I met him during an internship and he presented himself to be a mentor and a supporter. He helped me create an audition tape during my internship and he viewed a tape of me singing during one of my plays and constantly encouraged that and always told me I was a good singer and I should pursue that. I am not naive. When I met him I was 22 years old and really young. But, I knew he probably had an agenda and his offer to be my mentor wasn't pure and there were probably strings attached. However, he was married and had a kid older than me and I knew he would never get anywhere with me, so I hoped time would make any romantic intentions he had go away. WRONG! Recently, he got a divorce and when I visited him he proclaimed his like towards me. He told me how long he has always wanted to kiss me and asked if we could date. I smiled and eventually left. He had been my friend for five years. But, I wished that he had never asked or brought that up because I knew he was going to start tripping. So, every weekend he started calling asking if we could "take a ride" or do this or that. And, he always got a no. I wasn't interested. I hoped like I did five years prior that any intention he might have would go away once his divorce wasn't so fresh.

One day I woke up and I had an epiphany. When people care about you, they take a personal interest in you. Not to mention, that if a person is really smart and you want to date somebody, you pretend like you are interested in their hobbies and you take a personal interest because of that. In five years I had done several shows and he never showed up for one. I understand that things happen every now and then and you have your own life and you can't make it to every show. I don't expect anyone to do that, not even my own family. But, to call yourself someone who supports me and my friend and you have never shown up for any play, opera or comedy show I have done, huh? It shows me where his intentions are and what he thinks of me. And, at this point in my life, I will be 30 in two years, I only need people around me who want to support me, be my cheerleaders and have my back. They should expect the same from me. During his difficult divorce I was there for him. But, he can't sit his behind in an auditorium for a five minute comedy set, for me? Then, when I called him out on it, this fool had the audacity to lie and say he was there. I told him he was a liar. If he was bright and if he was actually there this fool would know that I was all over the place that day and it is really small and I could see everyone that came in and out! Plus, I was on the stage and could see every face in the place.

Second example, this dude I have kind of been associated with for maybe three or four years was recently erased from my email list, Facebook page, erased from phone book, etc...I didn't really understand his personality which is weird because I get along with everybody. Example, one day he asked if we could meet for a drink. I said, "Sure, meet me at my favorite bar in a strip by Starbucks." He says, "I don't go to strip clubs with women." I say, "No. I mean strip of land or stores, that's where the bar is." He says, "Oh. You got jokes?"...Hmmmmm. Then one day he and I were chilling and talking in his car and he reaches over and grabs my forehead and says, "Wow! You have a forehead on you, dontcha?" and starts laughing. I was confused because first of all he had touched my face and second of all insulted it...Hmmmmm. Then he would always invite himself over to my house which he had never been in. He would text or call and say, "I was gonna fall through with a bottle." Never asked me out to dinner or lunch. He just wanted to quote fall through with a bottle...Hmmmmm. I could go on and on. Now, I consider myself a professional blogger. I have been doing it for three plus years. I am always sending out links to my blog or other links to articles or anything interesting I see out there. I am a writer so I like to stir up peoples emotions, opinions, etc. I recently sent out a article from Crain's Detroit about Detroit's struggling economy. It was titled something like "Living in Michigan is Played Out." It would get your attention (maybe if you live in Michigan) and then when you opened the email there was just a link to the article inside. This fool sends me back an entire paragraph about why he loves Michigan and he and his family are there for life because they can "weather the storm." First of all, I got his attention which was great. That was my angle for sending it out. B. I love Michigan because it has my two favorite people in it, my mom and dad and it is a part of me I was born and raised here and it will always be home. He took it as some sort of personal insult and asked me to remove him from my email list. Perfect because the people on my list I want to be people who like to debate, throw ideas around and learn from each other. Not, take some sort of email link and take it as a personal insult to him and his family. But, we are talking about the same person who thought I invited him to a strip club when I asked him to a bar located between a strip of stores. If he disagreed, he should've just said I disagree and this is why, blah, blah, blah. I hope to God Michigan's economy improves because most of the people I love live here. And, I don't have a dad who owns his own business or a dad who can invest in my personal business ventures. I am out here on the grind everyday on the streets of Detroit on the streets of Michigan. So, I represent Michigan more than him. I am that unemployed worker who has been laid off twice from GM suppliers. I am Michigan! If he would've been open minded enough to have a conversation he would know that. But, he is definitely off the email list:)

I have had the same phone number for over five years, but I had it turned off a couple of days ago and let me tell you, it is sooooooo freeing!!!! I will not get this number reinstated. I want all the agendas and airheads gone! I want to start fresh. I'll give all my friends my number, but I have made this mistake over years of giving my number out to too many people. I need to be more discerning when it comes to the folks I allow in my space. The guy who I just mentioned never supported a show or anything either. I need people in my life who are truly in my corner and I have that in my amazing friends and family. God thank you for all of them! And, shoutout to ya'll. I love ya'll so much and when I blow up, I got ya'll!... In the meantime, I won't be weathering the storm of airhead conversations and agendas.

xoxo

Sam

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