Five and a half years ago, I packed everything that I could into my Saturn Ion and drove out West. I was looking for something that I felt I couldn't find here at home in Detroit. I wanted a change and whatever that meant.
It turned out, moving to Las Vegas was not the filler for the void I felt in my heart. I wasn't able to do what I loved in Detroit and when I moved, I still found myself in a stagnant state of being. I believe everything is timing and it wasn't the right time for me to move because I wasn't prepared. I mean, I thought I was ready when I parked my car at the Motel 6 right off the strip. It felt like a new beginning. I thought I could hear opportunity knocking. But, it was just desperation for something different -- a "grass is greener" mentality.
There was absolutely nothing wrong with me wanting something different. But, hindsight is 20/20 and I now realize that it might have been better for me to have identified what "different" meant to me. I wasn't sure how I was going to get my "dream job", and I had never even been to Vegas before moving there-- it's too damn hot for this asthmatic. I didn't know anything about the city. I did know that there were a lot of lights in the city (the darn bright lights will get a performer every time). In other words, I was clueless and I ended up hating the job I acquired, it was too hot for me and there wasn't much opportunity for an aspiring artist (in my experience, anyway). So, I ended up burning out -- literally and otherwise-- and packed my new Saturn Ion ( I bought another one as soon as I got there) and made my way back across the country. It seemed like such a waste.
Today, I turned in a proposal for a creative business idea that I have. Last week, I turned in an application for a grant. I have started working on my revue/musical again. I have the opportunity to teach Shakespeare and perform it with my theater troupe, Shakespeare Against Cancer -- none of these things would be happening or would have happened if I hadn't packed up my little black Saturn and taken a risk.
I had to leave what I was used to, home. When I did that, I realized that I needed to figure out what I truly wanted and that is to simply create. My geography does not dictate the change or the "different" in my life and being an artist is a birthright.
When I came home from Vegas I worked a couple more dead-end jobs. I struggled. I considered going back out West. Eventually, I realized that if I just sat still -- where I was -- and stopped worrying about change, it would come to me. The universe would bring the "different" to me. God would work. He did. He has. He will.
I feel so blessed to have the opportunities I have had the past few years as an artist and writer. Some of the things I have proposed or tried will turn out. Some of them will not. But, I will remain still and quiet and regardless of where I live now or where I might decide to live in the future, I know that there is a plan for me.There is a plan for us all.
I also know that if I move I won't be staying a Motel 6. I will probably check the job market. Oh, yeah, and The Weather Channel, too.